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Tom Scotus

Hugh Hefner: From Hero To Zero

Flickr Image by: Allison - Hugh Hefner Wax MuseumWhen I was a teenager, I thought nobody was cooler than Hugh Hefner. He was rich. He was famous. He hosted hip celebrity parties. He was a sharp dresser, was articulate, had a great sense of humour, and was tall, dark and handsome. Most of all, he got to bed dozens of Playmates. In sum, he was the incarnation of most teen males’ fantasies!

However, time marches on. When in his early eighties, Hefner was still trying to live the life of a young, affluent swinger. According to former Playmate Izabella St. James, Hefner was still attempting to have group sex with beautiful young women, despite his erectile dysfunction. In order to achieve an erection, he gobbled down Viagra and watched gay porn. Treating his women like prostitutes, he paid each of them a $1,000 a week allowance. I’m sure his Playmates weren’t attracted to his wrinkly, sagging body or his temper tantrums that occurred when, despite the little blue pills and gay porn, he still couldn’t “get it up.”

More recently, at the age of 87, Hefner married blond bombshell Crystal Harris, then 27. Hefner may be faithful to Harris, but apparently theirs is a sexless marriage. Crystal recently told HuffPost Live, “Since Heff is older now and has had the phase of his life – the phases of all the girlfriends and all that kind of stuff – I feel now is more, you know like cuddling up and watching a movie or playing backgammon.”

Back in the 1950s, 60s, and early 70s, Playboy was the king of skin mags. Not only did it arguably boast the most beautiful models, it featured some of the best articles found anywhere, and enjoyed a massive readership. Although Playboy has maintained its original formula, its readership has plummeted in recent decades, and the last of its once popular Playboy clubs closed in 1991. In 2008, Hefner himself reportedly was on the verge of bankruptcy and was forced to lay off many of Playboy’s staff. Still, Hefner prances around in his silk bathrobe, often surrounded by young, sex goddesses, his speech somewhat slurred by a stroke suffered in the 1980s, and his face wrinkled by age – a pathetic caricature of the suave, virile playboy he once was.

There is a spiritual lesson here: A life of hedonism, materialism and egoism always ends badly. Youth, beauty, fortune and fame are fleeting. The slave to hedonistic pleasures and egotistical gratification, if he does not repent, will continue to ardently desire these things even when he is very old and even in the afterlife. I believe that such a man will spend eternity pining for the pleasures he once enjoyed on earth. His desires will never again be satisfied and the infernal horde will mock him forever. Part of me is still tempted to envy those who are rich, famous and hedonistic. Then I think about Hugh Hefner…